Harvey Dent's Chin
by cursetheolive
Summary: The Life and Lies of Harvey Dent's Chin
1. Chapter 1

I am Harvey Dent's chin. Fear me.

...

May you live in peace.


	2. Day One

**MY DIARY**

So like, today I found out that some Joker guy wants to kill me and my chin. Have no idea who he is.

*

Just googled him, and OH HOT DAYM. Let's just say that, if he wanted, he could not only shizzle my nizzle, but prizzle my chin-izzle.


	3. Day Two

Proposed to Rachel, but she said no. Stupid cow. I don't even fancy her. She took the whole "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" thing mega srs. Obviously, she has no idea that I was planning to moony her the moment she said yes.

*

On the bright side, someone grabbed me from behind and dragged me away into a secluded room. Had no idea who it was, until I was in said room. My captor was Batman. For some odd reason, he made me witness him perform scenes from Sam Llyod: The Musical, before tickling my chin in a fond manner.

*

That Batman chap really is growing on me. If he wanted to, he could quite literally, er, grow on me.. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT.


	4. DAY THREE

Rachel Dawes, my true love, has been named as The Joker's next victim.

MEGA LOLZ!!!!!!!!


	5. DAY FOUR

So we all have to protect that guy who thinks it's hilarious to wear eyeliner. I said to him just the other day - bitch please, only I can pull off such a statement. He looks hideous in it. Yet still he insists upon wearing it. To be honest, the only reason he wears it is because he is trying to be The Joker. Speaking of which, what a hottie!!!! I had an erotic dream about him the other night.. we were throwing paint at each other, and then he came right up to me and started to rub my chin in a suggestive, seductive and all round molesting manner. Mmmmhhrrrrr. The Joker is so manly, so rugged, so butch...

Anyway.

Today some guy had Rachel's name on this little name tag thing, so of course I threatened him because Rachel is my girlfriend, and I fancy girls. But then the mysterious Batman flew by.. and my oh my, I became distracted momentarily because - well, have you SEEN the bulge he's sporting? I had to stop what I was doing, not because he told me so, but because I needed to do something that would prevent him from chancing upon a similar something which had just "popped up" in my own less latexed trousers.

All in all, an exhausting day.


	6. DAY FIVE

Oh my golly gosh, pretended to be Batman for the lulz and guess who chased after me with a (very large) bazooka?!?!?! ONLY THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE, OF COURSE!

Phwoarrr, The Joker. Now, there's a guy who can wear eyeliner and look like a fucking god. Unlike some people we all know... the mayor ... ahem.

My chin almost became damaged as I banged my head on the side of the car/van/thing, but thanks to my amazing skillz I was able to protect it.

Am really proud of the speech I gave earlier in the day. Got some great quotes in that I of course made up on the spot with my dazzling wit and true courage. I sincerely hope that Alfred was watching me. That man simply adores me, and who can blame him? Really.


	7. DAY SIX

On the way home after my heroic battle against evil (aka The Joker. swoon!) Am in a car, listening to that fantastic song. You know the one - agadoo doo doo, push pineapple shake a tree.

*

Did I mention that Gordon died?

*

Yeah, he died a few days ago. I should have mentioned that, really. Lol.

RIP and all that shiz.

*

Am still in the car.

*

Good god, have just woken up in a strange room, tied up to a chair. What is this?! Where is my car?!?! WHERE IS THE AGADOO SONG?!?!

*

Oh, me and Rachel have been kidnapped. One of us is going to die. Apparently our friends will choose.

*

Well, I'm screwed.

*

Rachel was going on about how she wanted to marry me, and I was lol'ing so hard. I decided that I should moony her, even if she couldn't see, as that was what I had originally planned. In an attempt to whip my trousers down, I fell over and began to drown in some orange stuff.

*

Just drank a bit of it - it tastes quite nice, actually.

*

At the last possible moment, when all hoped seemed lost, a latex clad crotch came into my line of vision. BATMAN! Yes baby! He rescued me and swooped me in his arms - at once, I began to mentally play the song - Love Story, by Taylor Swift, inside my head. It fits me and Batman's relationship perfectly.

*

Decided to shout RACHEL in a butch kind of tone to make Batman fancy me.

*

Was really enjoying the feel of Batman's arms around me, when he dropped me in some fire. The absolute bastard - now my beautiful chin is ruined. I hate him, I hate him so much. My chin was so perfect... alas, no longer!

I had just got to the good bit of the song, as well.

*

Unfortunately, Rachel died.


	8. DAY SEVEN

Woke up in hospital. It stinks in here.

*

Looked at my lovely coin, only to see that half of it was burnt. Reminded me of my chin, which must be burnt in a similar fashion. The long ago erotic dream that I had, where The Joker was rubbing my perfect chin seductively sprung to mind. It made me cry, for I know that that dream is no more...

*

I have wrote out the lyrics of the song I Have A Dream, in memory of my chin.

Please feel free to put the song on and listen to it whilst you continue to read my diary.

If you do, know that you are in my eyes a hero.

I have a dream, a song to sing

To help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of a fairy tale

You can take the future even if you fail

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy

To help me through reality

And my destination makes it worth the while

Pushing through the darkness still another mile

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing

To help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of a fairy tale

You can take the future even if you fail

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

RIP CHINNY

*

Gordon came to visit. Wtf, thought he was dead? Oh wellz.

He saw my chin and a look of horror crossed his face. It made me want to jump up and rip off his failed attempt at a moustache. Pretend to be all angry with him so that he might, in one way or another, find me attractive.


End file.
